MuellerMommyAdventures

“Will you take her with you to the store? It will be a Father and daughter adventure,” I say. And quiet descends across my little house. The whir of the fan and the click of keys and my mumbled whispers of what I’m typing are the only sounds. It is a different type of rest when you are not listening for little sounds or loud sounds beckoning a baby’s needs. It is an unencumbered rest, a small delight. Yet, what is strange is though the quiet is lovely for a brief bit of time (especially when limbs are sore from bike-riding), is that my arms get lonely. Even though they are tired, they want to hold my little girl. In the meantime, I rest and gather strength. “Come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give your rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

She was just done being a baby and I was almost done being a girl when I met Ashley Walker. Fair hair and large blue eyes, all of us almost teenage girls wanted to hold the adorable toddler. And as toddlers often have an affinity for the people who are not quite grown up yet, she’d sit on my lap during the worship time at my parents’ small group. Occasionally, her mom would me hire me and I’d babysit. Then little Ashley and her family moved to Oregon—the modern day Oregon Trail where California transplants sought out new and better opportunities. Land! We visited, my sister and I, in our late teenage years, it was our first independent plane flight and Ashley’s mom made sure we had a grand time: snow-boarding, new youth groups, dinner out, the toboggan run. By this time Ashley had turned into a little girl, who loved nuns and star wars. (I’m sure her husband is glad she gave up her determined ambition to take the habit). Her fair hair was longer, but her eyes were still blue, and ...

 Auntie Autumn met baby Felicity in the wee hours of the morning. She wore her “meeting Felicity outfit,” a short skirt, tights, and a relaxed top. Felicity, age less than an hour, wore a swaddle. “Auntie Autumn. Felicity, this is your Auntie Autumn.” Felicity’s little body was tiny, wrapped in the large blanket. Autumn cradled her, bouncing gently as I watched from the hospital bed. A new mom sometimes gets a surge of energy after birth and I was rolling on the high of meeting Felicity and introducing her to my family. “Auntie Autumn,” I liked it immediately. My sister’s new title rolled off the tongue as naturally as Autumn holding her little niece. I remembered when Autumn was little how much she liked babies. She held them and cuddled them. Watching my sister, hold my baby was another strand in the tapestry of Autumm/Lei moments. She loved Felicity too! Not just because Felicity is adorable (which she is), but because Felicity is my baby.   When we we...

Do you ever wish that God’s guiding were as clear as typing an address into an Iphone and pressing the “give me directions button?” Sure, Iphone directions are occasionally circuitous, but I’ve always ended up at the destination. I don’t always feel that way about God’s will. Then I remember that I often view God’s will as a particular path, when instead it is a destination and there are many routes to arrive at that destination. The destination is full redemption of the human person. Meanwhile there are the paths that we trod here and now. Several years ago a friend and I read Hearing God by Dallas Willard on the topic of God’s will. She was in Africa homeschooling a couple kids and I was in California just becoming a teacher. We both fell into the jobs we were doing at the time. And yet, both of us understood our jobs as God directed. Willard argues that instead of one path, one God mandated right or wrong action, for a marriage, a job, or who to hang out with, God i...