Three nights
ago Felicity tried running. She was wearing her long maxi-dress, with the
little ruffles around the top and the bottom. She tried with all her little
might to run after her two year-old friend who had a ball. Into the long grass,
she went. The thick grass was taller than her knees. She stumbled on the grass and
her skirt, but stood up again, and again. She tried so hard.
Three weeks ago
she took her first step in California. Three weeks ago I was living in
California. Not anymore.
People ask, “How
do you like Waco? What do I think of moving?”
Putting into
words the experience of moving is difficult. On the one hand, there is
something so ordinary about it. Yesterday, I sang to my baby and put her to
bed. This morning, I went for my mile run. I dropped Nathan off at school,
carpooling, the same as we’ve always done. Yet, it is different. Here, Felicity
has a room of her own. The brick buildings of the classically, beautiful Baylor
campus put Makita Tool company’s white, rectangular office to aesthetic shame.
And the air is thick here. It sticks to you when you run. You notice it. Three
weeks is not enough time to really know what I think.
As I reflect, I
wonder about the story I choose to tell about this place. I find myself
wondering, can I determine my experience of Waco? (Clearly, I’m motivated by
the fact that my husband is a philosopher) Over the past six months, when I
told people I was moving to Waco a range of responses came my way.
“It’s the
armpit of Texas.”
“Growing up here is the best.”
“It’s
exciting.”
"I hate it."
"I love it."
And the one agreed upon thought: "It's hot in the summer."
One place manages to elicit a range of contrary
emotions. Perhaps the place is just a backdrop. It is me who gets to
decide who I will be in this place. And I can love it as much as the familiar
streets of Harbor City, the eclectic eateries in Los Angeles, the winding pavement
of Oxford. But to love it, is also to admit that it is not those other places.
And it is OK to miss them.
My experience
of Waco is a walking one. I try to run in this thick new grass, but I will
stumble sometimes.
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