Skip to main content

I Might Want a Mini-Van


“All the world is a stage and the men and women merely players”

            Several of my high-school students sat around as we brainstormed ways to move large pieces of lumber and I decided who to take with me on a venue visit.
            “I used to think people who wanted mini-vans were old,” I told my students. “Now I want one.”
One girl, curly-haired and lively looked at me with a, “If you want a mini-van, then you are old expression.”
 I paused. Thinking about arguments as to why I was still a cool, young teacher: a bigger car would allow me to take them all venue viewing; I might want to pick people up from the airport; and a road trip to California must happen. But regardless of the litany of thoughts processing through my mind, it was true. I’d arrived into my thirties, about twice the age and life experience of my students. 

It’s no wonder they think I’m old.
           
**
My little girl is two—and every day more opinions, thoughts, and desires pour in a semi-articulate stream from her tiny mouth. She jumps over cracks in the sidewalk, tucks her dolls or stuffed animals into bed, and daily tries to enforce her will on her big people—mama not papa should buckle her into the car, she’s “got it” when it comes to getting a fresh diaper to change into. And oh! The look of pride, when she points out a letter of the alphabet (mostly incorrect), dances around the living room, or tries to do push-ups. We are the audience of her little stage.

Her and I stand in two very different life places.

Not as often now, my husband and I will look at each other and ask, “Are we really grown-up? Do we really have a kid?”

Yes, somewhere, we crossed some indefinite line that placed us in the next act. But it is not a lesser scene, because it is a later scene. The sparkle of a clean kitchen and the flowers arranged on the table can be as wonderful as Felicity discovering she can lay on her tummy in the bathtub and “go on ehvutures” with mama or papa.

I wouldn’t trade it. The scene I play in now is precious.

So yes, I do want a mini-van. After all, it’s a truth universally acknowledged that two car-seats in my sweet Nissan Sentra, along with groceries or diaper bags is a squeeze of the non-romantic variety.


*She carried this basket on her own and was happy to pose on her stage.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hit the Ground Crawling

So admittedly it's been awhile since a mommy adventure has been documented via typing. The lack of stories mostly coincides with the end of maternity leave, but now the time has come to hit the ground of writing with some crawling. At least Felicity seems to thinks it’s time to crawl. Only she’s finding that her body doesn’t want to cooperate yet. I noticed she wanted to crawl when she started making flips onto her tummy to signal the end of naptime. Then, during playtime, she’d flop onto her large middle and stretch her little fingers grabbing at the toy that rolled just out of reach.  Toes push the ground, but her belly keeps her beached. And the most she’s managed is to scoot backwards or to rotate using her belly as an axis. But the crawling is coming soon.   She wants it badly. The little toes are starting to realize they need to push at the ground and determination to move forward fills her face with each passing day. At the moment, crawling is a Mueller fam...

The Adventure Begins Very Early on the Morning of July 15th

Note: In-N-Out is the first place I go when I arrive back in California. The California chain tastes like coming home. My day had been planned. I was going to walk with friends. Have coffee with my mom and a phone date in the evening. Followed by my husband asking, “what should we have for dinner.” And me responding “In-n-Out.” I’ll admit it I did exercise in hopes of expediting the labor process, but as I had been told, “babies will come when they will.” So I laid my plans: Plan A the aforementioned walk etc. and Plan B— Have a baby. When my mom arrived, full of more energy than I’m used to her having (a contrast with my labored lack of energy), it was apparent that Plan B was in effect. We were most definitely not going to coffee. I was going to have a baby. Labor… it’s not fun. Epidurals… they are a wonderful invention. It was late evening. I’d hoped they’d let me push on the 14 th . The history nerd in me was caught by the idea of having a baby on Bastille D...

Two Little Girls and a Bench

  It was one of those moments before dinner in which I could have easily moved into the busy rush of dinner, clean-up, and bed-time, when I was stopped in my tracks. Isabelle, with her round face, and bright eyes, and fifteen month strength, clamored onto a bench and made it apparent to me that she wanted to jump from its one foot height with the help of my hand. I obliged and a game began, a game that was immediately joined by Emmaline, her three-year old sister, who does everything with full abandon. Soon, I found myself holding two little hands as two little girls jumped off a bench in unison. What joy this moment held for them. Again. Repeat. They would have jumped as long as I allowed. Each little face starlit with the joy of leaving the earth for one brief moment in the company of one’s sister and one’s mommy.  Tonight I read in Chesterton’s Orthodoxy that, “Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want t...